So much irony in the title and nature of this post, but I don’t feel like I have any other way to explain myself at the moment.
I stopped writing and it’s not because I found other platforms or that I didn’t have anything to say, it’s because I am cowardice and afraid. I recently graduated from college with a BA in Journalism and Media Studies ( it’s just one degree, I know it sounds like two) and a minor in Video Production, and every time I tell someone this their response is,” Wow, we really need more people like you in the media, so what are you doing now?” And when I tell them where I work and what I do their response is always, ” But how is that related to your field? Are you planning to write or do you want to be on TV?.” To fill in the gaps, I am currently the Administrator for my childhood masjid and a Marketing Fellow for an online publication called The Tempest. Whenever I tell people what I do the air becomes heavy with disappointment and that weighs me down. Even before I graduated there was this unsaid pressure for me to write or be on broadcast television. I am not the next Noor Tagouri nor do I want to be. I admire her work ethic and what she has done, but for me, that’s not a route I want to take.
This unsaid pressure is what caused me to stop, I didn’t have the courage to keep writing because I felt like I was no longer being honest with myself. Instead, I started thinking about how to write to represent my community and my people and how they would perceive things. I haven’t published anything, it’s because every time I would sit down to write, I would never finish or just delete the whole thing. It became more and more about writing through the eyes of the audience rather than my own. Don’t get me wrong I still wish to represent my people, but on my own terms. I don’t want to feel like I am losing my individuality. That’s why I don’t want to go into a newsroom and follow the rigid guidelines of what’s news and what’s not. I don’t want to report or write stories that I have no passion for, and please don’t tell me, “Well you can find a job where you can write about the stories you wish.” It’s not that easy. People think just because my major isn’t as “difficult” as a science or math, that it’s a walk in the park. It’s absolutely not.
I just want everyone to understand just because someone has a degree in journalism doesn’t mean that they want to be a journalist. I know it sounds obscure, but that path isn’t made for anyone and everyone. So just because someone has that particular degree please don’t put this burden on them. Don’t make them feel like they have to do something specific with the degree. It puts us into an awkward and tight situation when we have to explain ourselves. Give us time to figure out our paths, we all aren’t destined to do the same thing.
I know I’ll start writing again someday, I just don’t know when.
After what seems to have been a year or two hiatus I am finally back but now in a different way. This time around I have a purpose for a series of posts I will be making from now onwards. I am starting a YouTube channel! And to track my thoughts and the process of trying to be a creative content creator, I will be utilizing this blog for that purpose.
It’s been so long and I have so much to share, and I feel that this new journey will be able to allow me to share what I please and relate to others. Without a doubt, this journey I want to embark on is going to be tough and challenging not only me but the people around me as well, but this has been a dream of mine for a long time and I feel like I finally have the opportunity to pursue it! For the past few weeks, I had been in a rut, in which I couldn’t think of anything to film, but I finally have a few concrete ideas that I want to do! I won’t reveal them because there is no fun in that! I aim to publish my first video this upcoming weekend/ week!
Well, here we go! Stay Tuned for updates and videos!
image taken from google images:http://pre13.deviantart.net/1f1f/th/pre/f/2015/206/0/9/youtube_facet_by_kadhirfullycharged-d92qmum.jpg
There is something that bothers me deeply and it’s the Hijab. For those who are unaware of what hijab is, it the veil and covering by which a Muslim woman is to follow. Now, not all Muslim women wear hijab, and I don’t have a problem with that nor do I have a problem with the ones that do. The people I have a problem with are the brothers and sisters who feel it is their right to criticize the women who wear or do not wear it. Everyone nowadays feels that it is their right to go about and correct all “wrongdoings” on social media. I want to may this clear as possible: IT IS NOT YOUR POSITION TO TELL HOW A WOMAN SHOULD WEAR HER HIJAB. Who are you? Though you may be doing this with the goodness in your heart, why must you do it publicly? If you have a problem with how that woman is dressed why not approach her privately rather the shame her publicly. Also, who are you to say that she is improper? You don’t know her and you don’t know her struggle. You can’t do this to your fellow sisters, you aren’t encouraging them but rather pushing them further away. SO I BEG, stop judging one another’s hijab. It is not your place to go and attack such a personal struggle and devotion to God. It’s best to stay quiet and make dua for what you see as wrong, rather shame them publicly. Cover the wrongdoings of your fellow brothers and sisters, rather than making them into public affairs. That is also a teaching of Islam, so think twice before you post or comment on a woman’s hijab. Give those who wear it credit and do not go about to criticize and degrade those who do not. You are not aware of an individual’s life, so do not be the one to go about to speak ill of how they are dressed no matter your intention. I cannot emphasize this enough, you don’t know their lives and you don’t know them. Don’t think it’s okay do this just because you are behind a computer, phone or tablet screen.
I hope this makes sense. If I have offended anyone I apologize, but this how I feel about this issue.
Till next time!
— Hamna —
It’s not okay. It’s not okay that three beautiful lives were cut short. It’s not okay that a “parking dispute” is what triggered their deaths. It’s not okay. It will never be okay. There really is no justification for why they had to die. They were talented and generous souls. The way they were killed does not seem to due to a loss of sanity. It does not seem to be that they were in the wrong place at the wrong time. It’s not okay to say that because they were at home. How can someone’s home be the wrong place and time? It’s not and they weren’t in the wrong place at the wrong time, he just did not care. He shot them, he murdered them and there is no justification for that. I truly hope that the justice system, that has failed America for so long, prevails at bringing justice to those that we’ve lost.
How many more must die? How many more must suffer? How many more families will have to bury their children? How many more lives will be cut short?
The answer is unknown and the sad part is these questions shouldn’t even have the need to come up, but from Palestine to Peshawar innocent lives have been lost. The lives of future doctors, scholars, educators and productive members of the world have been lost.
141 lives have been brutally slaughtered. Slaughtered in the name of “God”, but what God do you worship that makes you think that it is okay to kill and to top it off to kill innocent children? Let me tell you, you don’t worship any God but rather maybe the devil. No religion on this planet supports the killings you had set out to do. Can you get any lower? Can you steep any lower? You are the lowest of the low. You twist the words and teachings of the religion to benefit your sick and twisted cause. You are not Muslim, you do not follow the religion of Islam. You are monsters, who think it is ethical and moral to kill, to kill innocent kids, to kill your fellow Muslims. The amount of rage and disgust I feel cannot be in expressed in words, but let me say one thing. What you have done has shown the world you are not humans but monsters.
To all the families, I grieve with you. Although, your suffering is greater and far more painful than mine. I am with you. I pray for a safer tomorrow and that Allah (SWT) make it easy on you and bring peace to your grieving hearts. Your loss will not be forgotten.
People always say you will miss high school once you’re in college. What I have to say to that is, that I do and don’t miss high school, and I think that is normal for a lot of people. High school was a safety blanket, there was nothing difficult about it because there really wasn’t anything to lose them. College is that exact opposite; it’s just thousands of dollars on for a letter grade and credits that you don’t know if you’ll get and honestly, that’s what sucks about college. We pay thousands of dollars to attend 4-5 classes that meet 1-3 times a week and are expected to be involved in some way on campus, have a job to pay off your loans and tuition and somehow to manage to have a life. Overall to be an extremely well-rounded person, and that is what employers want to see when you hand in your resume. To have a never-ending list of things you’re doing and have accomplished. As a freshman, it is a lot to juggle at once. High school tells you to volunteer and have a job if you want and take part in clubs, so I guess high does try to ease in the college experience. When you get to college nobody tells you that joining this will help or if you take these courses you with these professors you’ll surely understand the material. College is really a gamble, no matter what school you go to.
A lot of the times, you just want to cry because of the workload and pressure, and I never expected that to happen to me (I kind of thought I was invincible, but clearly I’m not and that sucks. Back to what I was saying). It’s just all so scary how less than a year ago I was just a senior in high school with a carefree life, and now I’m going crazy trying to balance school work, being part of organizations, volunteering, finding a job and on top of that taking care of my well being. I have the blessing of being able to live with my family and I have somewhat less of a burden, but I’m still overwhelmed. If I could change one thing right now it would be that, I wish I choose community college first. Financially, it would have been a lot easier, but I love my university and I definitely see a multitude amounts of opportunity here as a journalism and media studies major. I know what I have written has probably said and done, but it’s all true. College is no walk in a park. You just have everything handed to you at once and you have to find a balance and work hard for it too. I would definitely tell people to set goals for themselves and make sure they achieve them, even if it is to get A’s in their classes. I would tell them to write their goals out and make a day to day planner on what they will do to achieve their goals. As for Incoming freshmen, who may read this, don’t sign up for everything only sign up for things you think will benefit you and things that spark your interest. You’ll just overwhelm yourself if try and do everything. That is all! See you all in my next post!