Why I Stopped Writing. 

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So much irony in the title and nature of this post, but I don’t feel like I have any other way to explain myself at the moment.

I stopped writing and it’s not because I found other platforms or that I didn’t have anything to say, it’s because I am cowardice and afraid. I recently graduated from college with a BA in Journalism and Media Studies ( it’s just one degree, I know it sounds like two) and a minor in Video Production, and every time I tell someone this their response is,” Wow, we really need more people like you in the media, so what are you doing now?” And when I tell them where I work and what I do their response is always, ” But how is that related to your field? Are you planning to write or do you want to be on TV?.” To fill in the gaps, I am currently the Administrator for my childhood masjid and a Marketing Fellow for an online publication called The Tempest. Whenever I tell people what I do the air becomes heavy with disappointment and that weighs me down. Even before I graduated there was this unsaid pressure for me to write or be on broadcast television. I am not the next Noor Tagouri nor do I want to be. I admire her work ethic and what she has done, but for me, that’s not a route I want to take.

This unsaid pressure is what caused me to stop, I didn’t have the courage to keep writing because I felt like I was no longer being honest with myself. Instead, I started thinking about how to write to represent my community and my people and how they would perceive things. I haven’t published anything, it’s because every time I would sit down to write, I would never finish or just delete the whole thing. It became more and more about writing through the eyes of the audience rather than my own. Don’t get me wrong I still wish to represent my people, but on my own terms. I don’t want to feel like I am losing my individuality. That’s why I don’t want to go into a newsroom and follow the rigid guidelines of what’s news and what’s not. I don’t want to report or write stories that I have no passion for, and please don’t tell me, “Well you can find a job where you can write about the stories you wish.” It’s not that easy. People think just because my major isn’t as “difficult” as a science or math, that it’s a walk in the park. It’s absolutely not.

I just want everyone to understand just because someone has a degree in journalism doesn’t mean that they want to be a journalist. I know it sounds obscure, but that path isn’t made for anyone and everyone. So just because someone has that particular degree please don’t put this burden on them. Don’t make them feel like they have to do something specific with the degree. It puts us into an awkward and tight situation when we have to explain ourselves. Give us time to figure out our paths, we all aren’t destined to do the same thing.

I know I’ll start writing again someday, I just don’t know when.

I’m Back!

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After what seems to have been a year or two hiatus I am finally back but now in a different way. This time around I have a purpose for a series of posts I will be making from now onwards. I am starting a YouTube channel! And to track my thoughts and the process of trying to be a creative content creator, I will be utilizing this blog for that purpose.

It’s been so long and I have so much to share, and I feel that this new journey will be able to allow me to share what I please and relate to others. Without a doubt, this journey I want to embark on is going to be tough and challenging not only me but the people around me as well, but this has been a dream of mine for a long time and I feel like I finally have the opportunity to pursue it! For the past few weeks, I had been in a rut, in which I couldn’t think of anything to film, but I finally have a few concrete ideas that I want to do! I won’t reveal them because there is no fun in that! I aim to publish my first video this upcoming weekend/ week!

Well, here we go! Stay Tuned for updates and videos!

-Hamna

 

image taken from google images:http://pre13.deviantart.net/1f1f/th/pre/f/2015/206/0/9/youtube_facet_by_kadhirfullycharged-d92qmum.jpg

H I J A B

There is something that bothers me deeply and it’s the Hijab. For those who are unaware of what hijab is, it the veil and covering by which a Muslim woman is to follow. Now, not all Muslim women wear hijab, and I don’t have a problem with that nor do I have a problem with the ones that do. The people I have a problem with are the brothers and sisters who feel it is their right to criticize the women who wear or do not wear it. Everyone nowadays feels that it is their right to go about and correct all “wrongdoings” on social media.  I want to may this clear as possible: IT IS NOT YOUR POSITION TO TELL HOW A WOMAN SHOULD WEAR HER HIJAB. Who are you? Though you may be doing this with the goodness in your heart, why must you do it publicly? If you have a problem with how that woman is dressed why not approach her privately rather the shame her publicly. Also, who are you to say that she is improper? You don’t know her and you don’t know her struggle. You can’t do this to your fellow sisters, you aren’t encouraging them but rather pushing them further away. SO I BEG, stop judging one another’s hijab. It is not your place to go and attack such a personal struggle and devotion to God. It’s best to stay quiet and make dua for what you see as wrong, rather shame them publicly. Cover the wrongdoings of your fellow brothers and sisters, rather than making them into public affairs. That is also a teaching of Islam, so think twice before you post or comment on a woman’s hijab. Give those who wear it credit and do not go about to criticize and degrade those who do not. You are not aware of an individual’s life, so do not be the one to go about to speak ill of how they are dressed no matter your intention. I cannot emphasize this enough, you don’t know their lives and you don’t know them. Don’t think it’s okay do this just because you are behind a computer, phone or tablet screen.

I hope this makes sense. If I have offended anyone I apologize, but this how I feel about this issue.

Till next time!

— Hamna —

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It’s Not Okay

It’s not okay. It’s not okay that three beautiful lives were cut short. It’s not okay that a “parking dispute” is what triggered their deaths. It’s not okay. It will never be okay. There really is no justification for why they had to die. They were talented and generous souls. The way they were killed does not seem to due to a loss of sanity. It does not seem to be that they were in the wrong place at the wrong time. It’s not okay to say that because they were at home. How can someone’s home be the wrong place and time? It’s not and they weren’t in the wrong place at the wrong time, he just did not care. He shot them, he murdered them and there is no justification for that. I truly hope that the justice system, that has failed America for so long, prevails at bringing justice to those that we’ve lost.

How Many More?

How many more must die? How many more must suffer? How many more families will have to bury their children? How many more lives will be cut short?

The answer is unknown and the sad part is these questions shouldn’t even have the need to come up, but from Palestine to Peshawar innocent lives have been lost. The lives of future doctors, scholars, educators and productive members of the world have been lost.

141 lives have been brutally slaughtered. Slaughtered in the name of “God”, but what God do you worship that makes you think that it is okay to kill and to top it off to kill innocent children? Let me tell you, you don’t worship any God but rather maybe the devil. No religion on this planet supports the killings you had set out to do. Can you get any lower? Can you steep any lower? You are the lowest of the low. You twist the words and teachings of the religion to benefit your sick and twisted cause. You are not Muslim, you do not follow the religion of Islam. You are monsters, who think it is ethical and moral to kill, to kill innocent kids, to kill your fellow Muslims. The amount of rage and disgust I feel cannot be in expressed in words, but let me say one thing. What you have done has shown the world you are not humans but monsters.

To all the families, I grieve with you. Although, your suffering is greater and far more painful than mine. I am with you. I pray for a safer tomorrow and that Allah (SWT) make it easy on you and bring peace to your grieving hearts. Your loss will not be forgotten.

College

People always say you will miss high school once you’re in college. What I have to say to that is, that I do and don’t miss high school, and I think that is normal for a lot of people. High school was a safety blanket, there was nothing difficult about it because there really wasn’t anything to lose them. College is that exact opposite; it’s just thousands of dollars on for a letter grade and credits that you don’t know if you’ll get and honestly, that’s what sucks about college. We pay thousands of dollars to attend 4-5 classes that meet 1-3 times a week and are expected to be involved in some way on campus, have a job to pay off your loans and tuition and somehow to manage to have a life. Overall to be an extremely well-rounded person, and that is what employers want to see when you hand in your resume. To have a never-ending list of things you’re doing and have accomplished. As a freshman, it is a lot to juggle at once. High school tells you to volunteer and have a job if you want and take part in clubs, so I guess high does try to ease in the college experience. When you get to college nobody tells you that joining this will help or if you take these courses you with these professors you’ll surely understand the material. College is really a gamble, no matter what school you go to.

A lot of the times, you just want to cry because of the workload and pressure, and I never expected that to happen to me (I kind of thought I was invincible, but clearly I’m not and that sucks. Back to what I was saying). It’s just all so scary how less than a year ago I was just a senior in high school with a carefree life, and now I’m going crazy trying to balance school work, being part of organizations, volunteering, finding a job and on top of that taking care of my well being. I have the blessing of being able to live with my family and I have somewhat less of a burden, but I’m still overwhelmed. If I could change one thing right now it would be that, I wish I choose community college first. Financially, it would have been a lot easier, but I love my university and I definitely see a multitude amounts of opportunity here as a journalism and media studies major. I know what I have written has probably said and done, but it’s all true. College is no walk in a park. You just have everything handed to you at once and you have to find a balance and work hard for it too. I would definitely tell people to set goals for themselves and make sure they achieve them, even if it is to get A’s in their classes. I would tell them to write their goals out and make a day to day planner on what they will do to achieve their goals. As for Incoming freshmen, who may read this, don’t sign up for everything only sign up for things you think will benefit you and things that spark your interest. You’ll just overwhelm yourself if try and do everything. That is all! See you all in my next post!

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The Coca- Cola Super Bowl Ad

The Coca- Cola Super Bowl Ad

It’s been a while since my last blog post; I should really get more active on here. Anywho, so anyone that watched the super bowl or with a social media account has seen or heard of the Coca Cola ad.  This commercial… I just want to go up to the director or whoever came up with the idea and shake their hand. There is just so much ignorance, hate, and racism in this country. WHY? I still, to this day, do not understand why. We are a nation of immigrants. Even if they are a 10th generation

American their ancestors were immigrant and Coca Cola has done nothing wrong. Their commercial was truly beautiful. You want to know why? Because it depicted this nation as it is, diverse. It’s time that people to start to accept this country as a melting pot. These actors in the commercial represent the different people that live in this country. Muslims, Hispanics, Indian, Jewish, Chinese and the hundreds of more that are citizens of this nation. What upsets me the most is that people hated the song being sung in different languages. To me, that was the most touching and beautiful part of the commercial. It, to me at least, showed that though we are from different backgrounds we are one. Did anyone else not see that? It shouldn’t matter the language we speak, the clothes we wear, the color of our skin, or the religion we practice.  America was built as a land of opportunity and diversity, so this commercial has nothing wrong with it. It’s people’s ignorance that stops progression and acceptance.

Enjoy the video if you have not already! =)

Thanks for reading!

-Hamna

New Beginnings

Well as everyone knows, today is the last day of 2013, and in these last few moments of the year, I look back and think how much I’ve accomplished. There’s is so much that I have done without even realizing it. There is so much that happened that I haven’t even thought twice about it. It’s really funny how we realize all that has happened in a year on the last day of the year. Most importantly, looking back at 2013 makes me realize what I haven’t done. Nobody will ever be perfect and there will always be room to improve, but if you find yourself thinking about what’s different, at the end of the year, and still haven’t improved anything then there’s definitely a problem. See, I am not a person to sugar coat anything and as 2014 begins my blog posts, I think, will become more honest. I want to become a new person, rebuild and reform myself into a new me, so then I can face my fears with a boldly and not cowardly. I’m known by some to be outgoing, but I’m also known to have a slight temper. If anything for 2014 all I want is to lose that temper and be more patient, even if I’m still a coward I rather not have a temper. I want that temper gone so maybe then I won’t be agitated at so many. I think a way for me to do that is to have a jar, actually two jars (I’ve seen this idea on Tumblr a gazillion times). The reason why to have two jars is, one for all my happy moments and once for all my angry ones, and I hope by the end of 2014 I’ll have a million and one happy moments and very few angry ones. SO to all my readers out there, leave me a comment let me know what you think of this idea or suggestions and what change do you want for 2014? HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Faces

In this world, we are born with one face, but nowadays it seems common to have more than one. What I’m talking about is have double personalities just to get what you desire. Why is it so hard to do things these days without stupid politics coming in play, and no I’m not talking about governmental politics. I’m talking about the things people do to get what they want. They’ll treat you according to what the want from you. It makes me sick. I hate having to play along because what does that make me? Am I just like them? I don’t want to be like them, but rather just have one face and where it around everywhere. The double, triple, quadruple personality is not what should be a norm, but sadly, it’s what is becoming the norm. You give one person hope and excitement only to use them for a short time because they become a threat to who you are. There are days when I just want to scream, you’re fake, a lie, a two-faced person, but who am I to do such a thing. One day, their act will be over and I’ll be able to breathe fresh air instead of polluted air. Until that day comes I won’t let myself conform fully to the two-faced life. I’m going to try my best to be me, and if that means breaking down the walls in my own life, then so be it. I Will Be Me. As I mentioned in my first blog post, I know I’ll write offensive stuff, but I need to find a release a place to be me. This is what this blog is for me. I will break the free on here, and let all my wall crumble down. I will be brave on here